One of these days I’ll open one of these threads and not see the tech obsessed weeaboo mens rights activists trying to justify treating women as sex objects.
Not today sadly.
I was like “surely it’s not that bad”, figuring on a couple/three nOt AlL mEN commenters.
Alas no, a whole thread of “everyone fetishizes someone” bs.
No, you slap dicks, it’s possible to “have a type” without objectifying people. Do you even know what objectifying is? Can you understand the difference between attraction and viewing another human as an object that only exists for your gratification?
I think part of it is just life inexperience, combined with parents being afraid of having honest conversations with their kids about sexuality, attraction, and respect. I know I had a LOT of growing to do as a young man. I greatly appreciate the friends I had that called me out on my bullshit. I’m also glad my shyness kept me from outright chode behavior as a youth. I could’ve been very harmful in different circumstances. Not intentionally, but harmful nonetheless
I am heartened that so many in this thread are calling out the foolishness. I just hope the boys listen
I hate long-winded, not funny comics.
Yeah… Empathy is hard.
That grandpa gives off Bangkok sexpat vibes
Where’s the line, like initial attraction is kind of - by definition always limited in it’s understanding of “the other”… Whether that’s a woman finding a fatherly figure attractive, or a gay guy finding a bear attractive, or someone finding an Irish accent hot…
They’re all empty slates we project onto, it’s only later that we learn about the human beyond those characteristics. Then we find out they’re kind of a horrible person, and that’s the end of that.
as a gay guy, it definitely starts off with “the other person is a human with needs” [commonly with the subtext “and i hope one of those needs is to fuck me”]
The problem with saying “Asians are fetishized” is that EVERY race is fetishized. Every body feature is fetishized. Small tits? Fetishized. Big tits? Fetishized. Black? Fetishized. White? Fetishized. Asian? Fetishized. Wear glasses? Fetishized.
No matter who you are, there’s SOMEOME fetishizing you.
That doesn’t make it a good thing or something that shouldn’t be off-putting to the people who are being fetishized. It’s normal to be attracted to certain physical features but when you fetishize certain physical characteristics, ethnic/racial backgrounds, etc. you treat those people as a sexualized objects and not a human being who may have a sexual aspect to them but is much more complex than just the often superficial characteristics that are fetishized.
People want to be perceived as whole, complex human beings, not just carriers of characteristics that provide you sexual gratification which, if you fetishise something about a person, you are doing to them whether you realize it or not. It’s creepy, disrespectful, and dehumanizing.
Feel free to feel attracted to certain physical characteristics but do not fetishise people.
It’s almost what is being fetishized is not the problem everyone has a preference. It’s the objectification that’s the problem and not seeing another person as a whole human with agency.
Indeed, being attracted to certain aesthetic features isn’t a bad thing. But seeking out someone to fulfill that fantasy, irrespective of any other factor, is.
People are too quick to assume they are being singled-out “irrespective of any other factor” though. We’re all so convinced no-one could like us for who we really are.
I mean, if I’m being honest, no-one should like me for who I really am, but that hasn’t stopped plenty of people. You get the idea.
Are people to quick to assume that? Where are you getting that information from? Are you assuming it?
Honestly, its a trope and a pretty common issue, as well as something I struggled with when I was young.
If you look at incels, its the reverse: a whole bunch of people convinced they lack something specific which others are singled out for to attract a lover, regardless of personality or character. They convince themselves they have nothing to offer but their “entitlement to sex”, to the point they eventually become right about the nothing to offer part.
I’ve had exactly one partner that was with me as an interracial kink. And it was REALLY creepy. Didn’t like it at all. I ask about family a lot to flush that out, if ‘‘my dad would be so pissed if they knew I was dating you’’ pops up. I’m out. It’s a terrible feeling. The ‘‘this doesn’t matter because it happens to everyone’’ logic is deeply flawed. This isn’t an equation, mutual problems don’t invalidate eachother, it just sucks when you realize you’re experiencing it and you never want to deal with it again.
Just in case anyone cares, I’m not an Asian woman, I’m a Hispanic man, I relate to the comic, I don’t think it’s invalid because it also has happened to me.
why are you out just because the dad is an asshole?
I can’t even imagine needing this explained to me. Probably like you likely can’t imagine what’s it’s like to be the ‘other’ society deems outside of the ‘normal’.
So what are we talking about in this thread. Do you know? We’re talking about being fetishized by your race, ethnicity, what have you. How do you identify someone interested in a kink they want to explore and not interested in YOU. What would identify that situation for you?
It’s not about the dad, it’s about the prospective mate thinking it’s noteworthy. They could say that and then their dad doesn’t give even a little bit of a shit about it.
It’s not about the dad, it’s about the prospective mate thinking it’s noteworthy.
to be clear… prospective mate thinking what is noteworthy?
The problem is that she’s interested because his ethnicity is taboo (her dad would flip), not because of who he is as a person.
And it’s still not good, and far less frequent than what Asian women endure in the West.
Nah, little/big tits are character traits that span multiple races so they’re probably going to be fetishized more broadly just by virtue of that.
So here we might need another dimension. I’d call it depth or thoroughness. The idea of submissive asian women might be more thorough in its fetishized details, but probably isn’t as broadly as things like tit size.
You’re confusing aesthetic preference with fetish.
Remember, if anyone is ever attracted to you, they must be fetishising you!
The more your relationships are about appearance, the less you can know about yourself and them since you are certain to not chase a partner to be a trophy among other effects
It’s not about being a “trophy”. I just want to be with someone that I’m physically attracted to, and who is physically attracted to me. I don’t think that’s unreasonable. Obviously we need to have compatible personalities/interests beyond that but it is a big factor.
You choose how big. Once you are mature or old, you realise how little it means
You don’t choose that. It’s different for everybody.
That’s like saying people choose whether or not to be gay or bi versus being straight.
If you aren’t attractive or attracted to someone the couple will not be happy. That’s what you’re deciding for others. Condemning some to be alone forever.
If you don’t want to, you don’t need to focus on that. You can also adjust how much. Personally I get energy from being attracted and attractive, but I don’t control what others choose.
I don’t even know what point you’re trying to make. Not everybody is going to be attractive to every other person.
My gf and I are both attracted to each other, but there’s many people (millions, even) who would find neither of us attractive. Those people aren’t obligated to potentially date us just because it might make us sad that they’re not attracted to us.
In these days it’s often hard for Americans to understand. Forcing, or saying others cannot or should not do x, is completely unnecessary when it’s something they do in private. I know you have trouble with the arguments and that’s because there is no existing valid argument for why you should not choose yourself how much appearance means to you. you. Not others. What is your preference may not be others, and it’s possible (believe it or not) to allow others to be off doing their preference. You don’t have to kill kids or anything in schools before you act, you can already right now choose, but only for you! Mind you! Only for you, and not for another. You may not choose how much another wants that or force others to want to have your marriage, or exit theirs. It can be confusing but it is possible to do this without slaughtering children and deporting workers that don’t have your skincolor. You can do it
I’ve never been able to force myself to be romantically interested in some one I wasn’t attracted to. I’ve tried. I’m pretty sure I’ve been on the opposite side of that as well and it made for a shitty relationship.
Yeah it isn’t fair if you do it and don’t want to. Therefore, you may chose. You are arguing that nobody should be allowed to choose.
You are arguing that nobody should be allowed to choose.
I never said a thing about what other people are allowed to do. My point was if there’s no physical attraction the relationship isn’t going to work because the physical intimacy isn’t going to last. Unless you just don’t care about physical intimacy I guess. Also I said I tried dating someone I wasn’t attracted to. What is that if not “choosing”? I can’t turn myself off an on at will. My initial response was to you saying that by looking for someone you find attractive you are looking for a trophy. Implying that the only reason to do so is to have someone to show off. That’s insulting. I don’t give a shit about what other people think about anyone I’m in a relationship with. Our attraction to each other and compatibility is what I care about.
I’d say it’s obvious that that’s not what the comic is saying but it’s probably hard to tell the difference if no one has ever been attracted to you.
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Sick burn brother
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The author of this comic is missing the fact that everything and everyone is fetishized. Rule34, anyone? Everyone has a think they’re really into. If you live Asians then you shouldn’t be scolded for it, nor feel bad. I like latinas, my wife is Latina, and fuck yeah are we each others fetish and happy about it!
I feel this author is one of those “I’m angry at everything and everyone, and it’s everyone’s fault except mine” types.
You don’t know what fetishization is.
