If we MUST eat a entire bag of Oreos.
Which scenario is better?
- Eat the entire bag in 30 minutes
- Eat the bag slowly, and evenly throughout a day?
I’ve solved that problem by buying two bags. One to eat all at once. And one to spread out over the rest of the day.
Eat em all at once. Right before your appointment at the dentist to have your teeth cleaned
Immediately after the tuna salad sandwich. Heck, treat yourself to a big glass of milk with those cookies, too.
Or a milk and onion smoothie
Oreo’s have had all their flavor sucked out of them through enshitification—and to make you eat more to feel satisfied.
Go to any grocery store (like TJ’s) and just buy “Sandwich Cookies.” THEY taste like Oreos used to.
(But, you have to eat them fast as they degrade quickly like actual food, something Oreos isn’t.)
More enjoyment if you spread it out over the whole day, plus you won’t barf. You might shit liquid, but y’know, lesser evil I’d say.
People barf from binge eating stuff? :o
Yeah, there’s a finite amount of room in there, where else it is supposed to go?
The second stomach ig? 👍
If you are intermittent fasting, then eat in one 30 minute window. If not, no fucking idea.
Eating sugary stuff that sticks in your teeth continuously throughout the day is the worst possible you can do for the teeth.
Binge eating sweets is pretty bad for blood sugar.
So to balance it out eat a third after every meal for max health and enjoyment.
So do a line after you dine?
The package is conveniently divided into breakfast, lunch, and dinner rows.
We call that doing lines around these parts.
Scrape off all the cream and eat a bowlful of that, then snack on the burnt cookies the rest of the day.
As a Canadian, unfortunately the answer is now to not eat them at all because they are an American product. This breaks my heart because I am the type of person that would eat an entire bag throughout the day :(
What about Canadian off-brand? Is that a thing? Like at Canadamart or Tim Horton’s or wherever y’all shop?
technically it’s an off off brand because Oreos themselves are an off brand
True, but Hydrox is also American, so no dice.
darn :(, I tried
We have “Eat the Middle First” but they’re not that great sadly
So Canada doesn’t have decent cookies either?
I tried them once (in EU) to see what those famous cookies were like and they’re crap.
Not even mediocre.
Yes that’s very on point for the question being asked, thanks.
I love that the question doesn’t specify what “better” means, and we’re all interpreting it in our own ways. Healthier? More enjoyable?
It’s better for mother nature if we all try to eat a whole bag in 30 seconds.
I’d probably barf if I ate the whole pack in one sitting. Or at least feel like I would.
Can confirm, I felt like that once and it made me quit Oreos for a long while. I still don’t quite enjoy them as much and do limit how many I eat. So I guess that’s good?
It depends on what you want your poop to look like later.
oh i don’t plan on pooping.
Do you just let it happen when the time comes?
I miss the spontaneity of my youth.
A dentist once answered this question. Better to eat it at once than soak your teeth in sugar for the entire day. Even better if you brush your teeth after, of course.
Better for your teeth, sure. Nutritionally, I’m pretty sure it’s better to spread it out.
Nutritionally, it’s terrible either way.
I think your body would have a better time with it spread out over the course of the entire day. However you’re still absorbing an insane amount of sugar in a single day.
There’s a chance all at once would result in more of it being pooped out and thus be better … but it’s so close to just eating sugar I expect you’d absorb it and then your body would go into overdrive producing insulin.
Fine every now and then, but regularly it would be insanely bad no matter which way you do it.
Fatty liver or rotten teeth… Tough choice.
Just brush your teeth after each cookie.
You’re eating those as a treat, not for your health. You probably know the negative impact that sugar and trans fats have, so if you’re going to treat yourself, I’d say make sure to make it count.
Do you get more overall pleasure from a little bit of enjoyment throughout the day or from a lot of enjoyment for a short amount of time? Maybe half now and half later or tomorrow? That’s how I decide how to eat/do stuff that I enjoy but know can negatively impact my health if I over do it.
If you do want to make it less unhealthy though, try to make sure they’re not the only thing in your stomach and rinse your mouth after you’re done eating them.
Eat them right before a big, protein heavy meal. The sugar will stimulate insulin production which will help to process more of the protein. And then have a couple for dessert.
Huh, is that why I can’t seem to find a non sweet protein powder?
no that’s probably because whey tastes absolutely awful so they try to cover up the flavor.
it’s usually a synthetic sweetener and I’ve found plant based protein powders are usually less guilty of it.
I’m vegan anyway, so I go for soy protein! But I’d like an unflavored one to add to my oats and flavour them a different way. First world problem though.
You can buy unflavoured whey concentrate or isolate in bulk for very cheap. I used to use it to make protein pancakes for breakfast all the time.
Nom nom nom.
Edit: I see you’re vegan. Not sure I’ve seen unflavoured vegan ones.
Ehhh, I’d say that, on average and for most purposes, spread out is better.
Less of a hit to your system. No big blood sugar spikes, which reduces the worst aspects if swallowing an entire package to the minimum it gets.
That being said, expect digestive issues to linger. You’ve got a lot of fats, the coloring, and the sugars playing havoc with your guts.
Expect to need a lot of tooth brushing unless you just enjoy having plaque and acid build-up messing with your teeth.
But I’d say that the risks of big spikes in blood sugar are higher than those risks. It could, in the right circumstances, kill you. And the way some of the more recent information regarding the role of sugar in atherosclerosis, and maybe other cardiovascular illness, is looking, every big spike is whittling time off of your heart more than a bunch of little ones will.
One of the first things I did when I first moved out from my parents is eat a whole bag of Oreos for breakfast because I could.
It turns your poop black.
Yup :)
I’ve had to clean up oreo poop lol.
A lot of older patients tend to get a “sweet tooth”, and they’ll go nuts on cookies and cakes.
Oreo poops aren’t the worst poops, but they look bad and are super sticky.
Oreo poops aren’t the worst poops, but they look bad and are super sticky.
What are the worst poops? Curry night?
Well, understand this is subjective.
But, diabetic poop is probably the poop that is worst to clean up, depending on how well controlled their disease is. When it isn’t, the smell is like rotten fruit mixed with sewage. It’s also usually both runny and sticky when that happens, so it’s a bitch to get off of skin, and it gets into every nook and cranny.
You definitely run into infections that are going to have people spraying poo everywhere, and most of the pathogens that do it make the smell rough too. However, it tends to be so watery that it cleans up easy. C diff, for example, you might need a face shield, but it wipes up easy.
Wtf kind of cafeteria is serving these old people?
Fecal contamination is a fact of life or, put succinctly, shit happens.
I was thinking the opposite. The first one s a huge sugar hit, and every following one.
- If you spread it out, your body efficiently digests them to maximize the sugar spikes, to maximize the calories absorbed to turn into fat
- if you do them all in one sitting, you only get one sugar spike and much of the fat and sugar won’t even be digested
Nah, when you’re dealing with carbs as simple as sugars, they’re broken down and absorbed very efficiently. Some of it even gets absorbed in the mouth before you swallow. So the spikes from stuff that is that sugar packed it can bump up blood sugar levels high enough to throw your whole system out of whack.
Basically, it triggers a massive insulin dump into the blood stream, with all that entails.
And, since the body can’t use that much at once, it’s more likely to get converted to fat than smaller bumps.
Fats, compared to sugars, take longer to get broken down and absorbed. That process starts with saliva in the mouth, but doesn’t really get going until later. Iirc, you typically won’t be taking in any of the fats until it hits the small intestine.
And, since the body can’t use that much at once, it’s more likely to get converted to fat than smaller bumps.
yeah 100%. The human body doesn’t store sugar. The only sugar we have available is the 5g in the blood stream at any one time, anything above that gets stored as fat… somewhere.
A single Oreo has 8.3g of sugar, higher then the total blood sugar carrying capacity
That’s the real argument no one seems to make. However I’ll still do my best to not buy Oreos as the only way around this issue
for most purposes, spread out is better. Less of a hit to your system
The digestive system is not built for boredom.
It works best with lots of changes and irregularities. Single events of such stress are no problem at all (only many repeated events of the same stress are bad). The same goes for a day or two of staying hungry.
Yeah, but it’s also not meant to process a giant package of processed fats, levels of sugar we haven’t had time to adapt to, or the colorant used that is known to irritate the bowel.
Which is why folks that go on a cookie spree like that end up constipated or loose and crampy. Which, yeah there’s some folks that would be able to take a giant hit of junk like that without noticing it, but I’ve had to clean up the mess left by Oreos when patients would go crazy on them for one reason or another (often dementia, sadly).
No, it isn’t going to kill you, or send you to the hospital purely by the digestive side of things, but it can fuck up your day lol.
Also, you’re misrepresenting not only what I said, but what the digestive tract is “built” for. It doesn’t actually benefit from irregularity of diet. It can handle it, but eating a fairly stable, non irritating diet keeps both the gut flora and the associated hormonal products produced in the intestines at a reliable operation. The more you disturb the system, the less stable the system. When it comes to gut flora and serotonin production in the gut, high sugar intake disrupts in a way that can have lingering effects; anything from a day to a week.
Don’t mistake the difference between a varied healthy diet and shoving irritants down the pipes. They aren’t the same thing.
