I’m in a similar situation.

I tell myself I’m acting out of self-preservation, but it’s really just fear. I don’t have the courage to face the shit that happens to out trans people.

I do think that fear is justified given my specific situation, and I do think that if I can somehow manage not to go off the deep end for the next few… years🫠… I have a chance of getting myself into a safer and less scary situation, where I can hopefully start to live as myself.

…except I could be wrong - I could die tomorrow anyway, or the safety I’m seeking could cease to exist soon, or maybe I’ll just never find what I’m looking for unless I ignore my fear and dive headfirst into the unknown.

It’s hard. And I don’t have the answers. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone. (And I felt less alone thanks to your rant, so don’t apologize.)

Someone’s like “yeah I work in retail.” And this person is like “yeah I clip car batteries to my nipples kneeling in broken glass with a hothouse cucumber up my ass.”

I actually laughed out loud at this assessment. Pretty sure this is not how it went, but… bah, take my upvote.

omfg source pls i need to read this plsplss