For example, my girlfriend and I are 5 years apart (I was born in 2003, she in 2008). We met in December of last year and started dating this February. From what I’ve observed online, in the US our relationship would probably be heavily criticized, but here in Romania, a 5-year age gap isn’t considered significant.
In Romania, 16/17-year-olds openly drink and smoke like adults and most university students are still financially supported by their parents until they complete their studies (with many still living at home as Romanian universities don’t have the US “campus life” culture - they function more or less like high schools), so I’d consider these “milestones” cultural.
In Romania the legal drinking age is 18 but regardless if we say it’s commonplace to drink at 17, she just entered that period of time whereas you have been doing it for 5 years.
Your parents may support you financially but you are expected to learn life skills in those 5 years, also you should be finishing school where you have learned everything you need to further your career and she is just entering it does that not seem strange to you?
Really the biggest problem is that there is a power dynamic between you, you are more educated, more developed, more experienced, when a relationship should be between two equals. What makes it so much worse at this age is how quickly you hit milestones and how quickly you can completely eclipse the other person
In Romania “the legal drinking age” is irrelevant as people under 18 can go into stores and freely buy alcohol, cigarettes, go to clubs and drink, etc. No one considers 18 a drinking “milestone” as they do with 21 in the US. Only milestone at 18 is driving. No, it doesn’t seem strange. She goes to school, I go to school, I do housework, she does housework, I manage my money that I get from my parents, she manages the money that she gets from her parents, I work a summer job, she works a summer job, etc.
You’re missing the forest for the trees.
You have significantly more life experience than her.
That’s the issue. 5 years between middle aged adults or whatever with similar levels of life experience is nothing.
5 years between a teenager and an adult? Is a whole hell of a lot more.
You asked a question, and that’s the answer. You can disagree with it, but that’s not going to change the answer. More to the point, the US is not the only place this is seen as problematic. Maybe not illegal, but certainly something that would be frowned on.
This at least explains the thought process behind this outlook, which is what my question was about in the first place. Thanks.