12 hours from now, 11 years ago, I was very nearly killed riding a bicycle to work. I’m partially physically disabled now. Holding posture is very limited for me, but I’m still mobile. Last year I did the same ride on the same route. I ran into someone I worked with that was doing well and it had a disproportionate negative effect to see their success.
For the first 9 years I tried to ignore the anniversary, but that doesn’t work well either. I still feel every bit of the pain I felt that day when I woke up in the hospital, so moving on is not an option. I’m a shell of my former self. I’m doing good to ride a bike a couple dozen miles at most and can’t stop, sit, or stand for more than a few minutes. Does anyone with experience like this have any suggestions to reduce the dip; to morn one’s own death in a more productive way?
For me, the most productive way to take care of grief is to sit with it.
It’s like when we hit our heads, and we have to just lay down and be with the pain until it passes.
Emotional pain is the same. But our habit is to try to run from ourselves instead.