I’m by far no expert, but I worked with children (aged 0-6) in a children’s home. They had to get used to get to sleep alone as there was not enough capacity in the evening to stay with every single kid for a long period of time. (Of course we did everything possible to meet everyone’s needs in a lot of different ways)
One thing that helped if a kid was anxious when the adult left was to introduce a new plush toy that they chose by themselves. The toy would then get integrated throughout the day whenever the kid was being soothed/ calmed, and it was also verbally integrated…like it had a name that usually the kid chose and we referred to it.
You can also make it part of their bed time story if that is part of the bedtime routine.
What should happen is that the kid associates the plushie with being calmed. Now the second part: similar to “weaning-away” but together with the toy. As you gradually move away a little more every evening, every time your kid becomes upset, you reassure them you are there but refer to their plushie for comfort like "I’m here, and you can hug the crocodile/ take your crocodile/… (or whatever fits the situation). No big leaps, just gradually moving your location away from their bed…across the room…next to the door…someday in front of the door but doing something quiet outside so they can still hear you reassuring them and redirecting them.
I’m by far no expert, but I worked with children (aged 0-6) in a children’s home. They had to get used to get to sleep alone as there was not enough capacity in the evening to stay with every single kid for a long period of time. (Of course we did everything possible to meet everyone’s needs in a lot of different ways) One thing that helped if a kid was anxious when the adult left was to introduce a new plush toy that they chose by themselves. The toy would then get integrated throughout the day whenever the kid was being soothed/ calmed, and it was also verbally integrated…like it had a name that usually the kid chose and we referred to it. You can also make it part of their bed time story if that is part of the bedtime routine. What should happen is that the kid associates the plushie with being calmed. Now the second part: similar to “weaning-away” but together with the toy. As you gradually move away a little more every evening, every time your kid becomes upset, you reassure them you are there but refer to their plushie for comfort like "I’m here, and you can hug the crocodile/ take your crocodile/… (or whatever fits the situation). No big leaps, just gradually moving your location away from their bed…across the room…next to the door…someday in front of the door but doing something quiet outside so they can still hear you reassuring them and redirecting them.