No you’re thinking of wives in a Scottish patterned outfit

Oh yea Spirit Airlines is great

Also I never understood “take it slow”. What’s slow? 90 days? A year? 2 years? A decade?

Then there’s the “you should be single for a bit”. Okay I’ve been single for 5 months, but then “no I’ve been single for two years”. You mean I’m not supposed to have intimacy for some arbitrary amount of time? I’m supposed to ignore any advance by anyone no matter how great they may be? I’ve missed so many good eggs that way.

Finally saw a VW Buzz on the streets- I fell in love instantly. Not sure of the specs but I think she’s mighty pretty and it makes me want to load up my band and do a cross country trip with a fun montage sequence.

Honestly I wanna do an expedition to the North Pole and see the sun do weird shit. Then treck to the South Pole so I can see the sun do weird shit but backwards. Like I know that sun is a weird freak when it doesn’t think you’re looking, that’s why it does it at the poles. Then along the way from North to south I’ll tell people how weird the sun is, and they’ll have to believe me because I’ve been there, and they’ll have to say “damn the sun is weird”. Sun’s going to be so embarrassed when everyone finds out how weird it is.

That or like go to Cancun or something. Anywhere that I can keep track of the sun that twisted freak you aren’t fooling me.

Love the free Luigi sentiment but let’s be frank the best way to honor him is to take down another Oligarch.

You mean to say I’ve been eating all this C4 for NOTHING!??

I’ve been ingesting copious amounts of C4 so if a cop tries to beat me up I’ll explode and kill everyone.

The country of “Disabled Retro Computer Nerd Land” sounds rad as hell, (the DRCN for short)

I’m on board except for the food variety, but I live in Chicago which attracts an amazing foodie scene. In bumbfuck Iowa you’re probably more likely to have trouble getting some good Thai food.

But if you use #6 every 10 hours you’ll stop aging altogether, so essentially it’s an immortality drug. If it is just the looks that stay, it still means your skin cells aren’t bogged down with broken and aged skin cells. You are now immune from skin cancer.

Just don’t sleep in over 10 hours and you’re good.

Lol fair

You mean Russian Oligarch and President of The United States Donald Trump works with Putin? I never./s

Yea, gotta be careful not to Say anything illegal

Can’t buy things if you don’t have money

😏☝️

😉👈

There was a 32 minute period from initial text to the first response, and then the whole thing was over by minute 3.

That certainly didn’t kill an hour. That’s like 35 minutes. Something’s not right.

I’d go so far as to say OP is a liar. I bald faced full lipped green eyed strong jawed curly haired liar who broke my heart and will do so again.