The conservative solution is so easy. Just stop letting things happen to you.

Truck break down? Stop avoiding car maintenance. Get cancer? Stop living an unhealthy life. Been shot by a stray bullet? Stop exposing yourself to places that shoot.

These aren’t just family values, no sir, these are discount family values! Think of the savings!

They’ve been losers for so long that they are finally excited that something they chose won. Now they have to live with a decision that will make them losers again.

Got it. You’re an idiot arguing in bad faith. You don’t care about anyone, much less folks with ability issues.