Ooh, it must’ve been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water.

It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes, and I yelled. I said, “What do you want from us, monster?!” And the monster bent down and said, “…Uh I need about tree-fitty.”

I know it sounds like common sense, but I think a lot of us grew up with parents that made us finish our food even if we weren’t hungry. So eating more than we needed was normalized, and it became difficult to just stop mid meal.