Everything written about the life of Jesus was recorded decades later from personal recollections—the words attributed to him can’t be regarded as representative of his everyday speech, to the extent that they’re accurate at all.

And the Jews were exempted from Roman religious laws—speaking against Rome might have been regarded as seditious, but not blasphemous (at least by the Romans).

I’m pretty sure that in one of the storybooks he’s quoted as saying “Ouch motherfucker. Nails? Really??”