A man went to the emergency room with a toy horse in his ass. The doctors described his condition as “stable.”

In high school, I was dared to play “gay chicken”, which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay, and the first one to chicken out loses. The other guy and I are both really stubborn, and neither one of us wanted to lose. We’ve been married 14 years and we run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with our adopted daughter. If that dude doesn’t chicken out soon, I’m going to start to suspect that he’s actually gay