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    1 day ago

    reminder that trans women are women and attraction to them (if you’re a man) is straight

    And yet, many wouldn’t say that a man liking a woman with a penis is 100% straight.

    It sounded to me like you were equating trans women with women with a penis, but apparently I misunderstood your meaning, so hey.

    I don’t understand why you call saying that sexuality is a spectrum and is separate from gender identity, box labelling project.

    That’s absolutely not the bit I was criticising.

    To me it sounded like you were both invalidating the femininity of trans women and the sexual identity of men who like them. But maybe I misunderstood your meaning again.

    I’m just not sure it’s any better telling people what their sexuality is any more than it is telling people what their gender is.

    I’m also not keen on phrases like “lots people would say”. It sits in the box of phrases that people use when they know what they’re about to say something that can be offensive. Have an opinion, by all means, but own up to it, and be prepared to take the flak for it rather than depend on your unseen army of people who agree with you for cover. It’s not in the least bit less offensive when you put it in the mouths of others.

    I think we can agree that sexuality and gender are multi faceted, complex and don’t divide into a neat categories as some folks make out, and I apologise for not being as civil with you as I should be.

    • Fushuan [he/him]@lemm.ee
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      1 day ago

      Yeah sorry if it came that way, not my intention. When referring to “lots of people” I quite literally meant that I know a gay guy that wouldn’t touch a vagina even if he was paid, so saying that if a dude liked a pre op transman is 100% gay doesn’t feel right with me. But not because they are not men, but because as you said sexuality is a complex thing and it’s more about physicalities than gender.

      Thanks for the addendum and sorry again for making it look like I was invalidating trans women, not my intention at all.